Shocking!
April 30, 2008
Yeah, this isn't shocking. I lied to you. Anyway.......
Angelina Jolie wasn't always a world saving, orphan adopting saint. She does have a past and The National Enquirer claims the past might come back to haunt her. A videotape from the 90s of Angie Jo allegedly doing heroin is up for sale! Shit. Can't a bitch do heroin in peace? Does there always have to be a camera involved? I'm waiting for the day celebrity "taking a shit" videos start making the rounds.
The Enquirer reports that the tape's owner wants $70,000. A source said the tape is from the 90s around the time of "Gia." The source went on to say, "The key part of the tape is Angelina doing heroin. She says, 'Wow, this is really good smack - not that cheap crap that's been stepped on.' Angelina is seen sniffing white lines from a plate, and then as the drug cooks on tinfoil, she deeply sucks in its smoke through a tube."
Angie Jo has been open about her drug use in the past. She's admitted in interviews to doing coke, heroin, blah....blah... Now she gets high on saving the world. Barf and boring.
Back to the celebrity shitting thing. I think a video of Angie taking a dump would be more shocking than a video of her smoking heroin in the 90s. I mean Saint Angie doesn't shit. I refuse to believe it.
Thanks Reanna
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She Can Do Better
April 30, 2008
Mimi wore what looked like to be an engagement ring to the Tribeca Film Festival premiere of "Tennessee" this past weekend and now Access Hollywood claims Nick Cannon gave her the ring. A source confirmed to them that 27-year-old Nick popped the question to 38-year-old Mimi.
Nick reportedly bought the ring for $2.5 million at Jacob & Company. That bitch can't afford that shit! Please, he bought that shit at Claire's in the Queens mall. Mimi better do the glass cut test on it.
This wedding will be a tacky organza mess. It will be like when you were little and your Barbie married Ken. Your mom never bought you the Barbie wedding dress, so you used organza napkins to make your own. Barbie came riding down the aisle on your little poodle's back. Ok, I'm totally talking about myself. Anyway, that's what Mimi's wedding will be like.
That being said, this wedding won't happen. Mimi should marry a Russian billionaire who will buy her a real life unicorn and pay to have a species of butterfly named after her. Nick Cannon doesn't deserve her crazy ass.
David Blaine Can Hold His Breath For A Long Time
April 30, 2008
David Blaine's psychotic ass beat the world's record for breath holding on Oprah today. He was down for 17 minutes. The previous record was set by some bitch in Switzerland for 16 minutes 32 seconds.
Towards the end, David's heartbeat started to get all wonky. David didn't die though and he was even able to speak to Oprah shortly after he came out of that huge snow globe.
He told Oprah, "I can't believe that I did that." Please. 17 minutes ain't shit! I bet you dudes that eat Paris Hilton out can hold their breath longer. Better yet, I know a few stoners that can probably go a good half hour before exhaling.
Mario, Stop Lying!
April 30, 2008
So Phoebe Price is the woman behind the possible break-up of Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff Ice! I knew it! No man can resist the charms of her chicken cutlets!
Mario was photographed leaving a restaurant in Los Angeles with PP. Here are the pictures. Can't you feel the fire between them? Okay, she totally butted into his shot, but she will not be ignored! Mario cannot deny their love anymore.
When asked by OK! Magazine if he was dating "socialite" Phoebe Price, Mario answered, "I don’t even know who that is. I heard that, and I was like, ‘Who is that?’” Mario needs to stop playing coy. His face has definitely been in PP's copper wire bush.
Here's the First Lady of Roberton Blvd. and the soon-to-be Mrs. Mario Lopez with her dog Henry yesterday. PP better send me an invitation to her wedding.
Lesbians Want Their Name Back!
April 30, 2008
This post has nothing to do with Cynthia Nixon and Rojo Caliente, but they are my favorite lesbians and that's what this story is about.
Three residents of the Greek island of Lesbos are suing the Homosexual and Lesbian Community of Greece for over the use of the word "Lesbian." The three residents want a judge to force the organization to change their name. They said the group's use of the word "insults the identity of the people of Lesbos, who are also known as Lesbians."
Dimitris Lambrou, one of the plaintiffs, said, "My sister can't say she is a Lesbian. Our geographical designation has been usurped by certain ladies who have no connection whatsoever with Lesbos."
Hahaha! He just said his sister is a Lesbian! So is he!
Dimitri went on to say, "This is not an aggressive act against gay women. Let them visit Lesbos and get married and whatever they like. We just want (the group) to remove the word lesbian from their title." This bitch has no idea who he's fucking with. You don't mess with lesbians. They will eff you the hell up. Trust me.
A spokeswoman for the group said, "This affair is totally ridiculous."
I want to move to Lesbos, so I can be a gay Lesbian! I would get the great label without having to eat coochie. I would even get some sort of discount at Home Depot.
Those three dumb bitches need to get their pussies eaten, listen to some Indigo Girls and shut the hell up. It's not that serious. Spread the Lesbian love!
Source: USA Today
Thanks Anna
