Robert Frost

"Freedom lies in being bold."

John Ruskin

"There is no wealth but life."

My Father, The Whorehouse Piano Player

A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you're first," she said. "What does your mother do all day?"

Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."

"That's wonderful. How about you, Amie?" Amie shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."

"Thank you, Amie," said the teacher. "What about your father, Billy?"

Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and promptly changed the subject to geography. Later that day she went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy''s father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation.

Billy''s father said, "I'm actually an attorney, but how can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Dwight D. Eisenhower

"Peace and justice are two sides of the same coin."

Lightbulb…Californians

How many Californians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Californians don't screw in light bulbs they screw in hot tubs.

The Wrinkled Nightgown

A man and wife were celebrating their 50-year anniversary, so the man bought his wife a $250 see-through nightgown.

Later that night she was getting ready for bed and realized the nightgown was still in the box downstairs. Walking naked through the house, she passed her husband who said, "My word, for $250 they could've at least ironed it!"

Pablo Picasso

"Action is the foundational key to all success."

Thomas Huxley

"All truth, in the long run, is only common sense clarified."

Bus Stop Blondes

Two blondes are waiting at a bus stop.

When a bus pulls up and opens the door, one of the blondes leans inside and asks the bus driver:''Will this bus take me to 5th Avenue?''

The bus driver shakes his head and says,''No, I'm sorry.''

At this the other blonde leans inside, smiles, and twitters: ''Will it take ME?''

Stewed Tomatoes

A guy is going on an ocean cruise, and he tells his doctor that he's worry about getting seasick.

The doctor suggests, ''Eat two pounds of stewed tomatoes before you leave the dock.''

The guy replies, ''Would that keep me from getting sick, Doc?''

The doctor says, ''No, but it'll look real pretty in the water.''

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